it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
