omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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