You work out of a Hotel?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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