so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
