My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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