And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we're making bets on your personal life
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
