grandma shit on top of the toilet
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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