Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
