he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
