If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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