I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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