the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
