You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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