He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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