is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
