I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
