She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
A bitchslap is in order.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
