We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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