Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
