I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
