I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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