Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
