i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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