The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
