"it" just moved
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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