I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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