I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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