Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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