i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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