Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Watching her eat just hurts me
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
