Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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