Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
