Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
