so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
