so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
