sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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