Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
