Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
