I just pynch a tree in the face
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
