So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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