I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
A+ Viking dick
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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