You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
