No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
