marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
