You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
