To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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