he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
