I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
