idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
