We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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