i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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