problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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