Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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